Guest Author - Moss Greene
1. FOCUS YOUR THOUGHTS TO FEEL
GOOD.
Feelings provide you with valuable feedback as to
how you’re thinking – whether it’s about past memories, present
experiences, or future visions. If you feel bad, your thoughts are
focused on worry, fear, self-pity, blame or resentment. Good feelings
mean you’re thinking about something uplifting. Each moment is an
opportunity for you to manage your happiness by choosing whatever
thoughts make you feel best.
2. CREATE AN OUTRAGEOUS VIRTUAL REALITY.
All creation begins in the imagination. Your thoughts are magnetic.
They attract to you whatever you clearly envision, believe is
possible, and feel good about. If you focus on a virtual reality
fantasy that you believe is impossible, but you feel good while you
think about it, then you will attract something different to yourself
that makes you feel equally as good.
3. GIVE THANKS FOR ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
You are the one who gets to decide whether your life is half empty or
half full. If you focus on the fullness, you will be amazed at how
much fuller it gets. And this will happen fast. Start by imagining
that every single thing that happens is truly perfect – even the
stuff that seems bad. You become super powerful when you can maintain
an attitude of gratitude and know that everything will turn out for
the best.
4. EAT, DRINK AND ENJOY A HEALTHY DIET.
Your body was designed to run best on certain kinds of fuel – just
like your lawn mower, your weed eater or your car. But, it won’t do
much good for you to eat well if you can’t enjoy the food. Negative
thoughts can poison your good nutrition. The best bet is to learn to
love to eat healthy, so you provide both your body and your mind with
the best of all possible nourishment.
5. INVENT EXCITING, REWARDING PROJECTS.
It’s up to you to make your life worth living. Maybe your Mom did it
for you when you were a kid, but more than likely nobody’s doing it
for you now. So it’s your turn. Make a list of things you’d really
like to do. Choose one and run with it. Having stimulating projects,
that you can sink your teeth into, can really get your juices flowing
and add the blush of youth to your cheeks.
6. MOVE YOUR BODY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
Keeping active helps you stay young, healthy and vibrant. Your body is
designed to move, so move it. Action helps circulate nourishment
through blood, tissues and organs to all of your trillions of cells.
The muscles you build during exercise make you strong, energetic and
attractive.
7. HAVE FUN – YOU’RE HERE TO PLAY!
Could it be the world is just a giant playground and you’re here to
enjoy yourself? Is that the secret of life? Yes, it is! Of course,
some children fight and throw sand at each other or push other kids
off the play gym, but that’s all just part of the game. The contrast
helps you see what you want and don’t want. You can lovingly accept
others - whatever way they choose to play. So make your choices, let
everyone else make theirs, and really have a great time – that’s
what you’re here for.
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1001 Ways to Make Your Life Better
Your Self-Esteem What
is Self-esteem? Self-esteem
simply put, is the opinion you have about yourself.
How you feel about yourself or how you value yourself as a
person. The job you do and
your achievements. How you
think others see you. What
your purpose in life is and your place in the world. Your potential for
success and your strengths and weaknesses. It may even be your social
status or socioeconomic level and how you relate to others.
Your independence or ability to stand on your own feet and/or
whether or not you engage in codependent relationships.
This month we chose
to feature the book 1001 Ways to Make Your Life Better, by Lynn Allison. In the chapter 25 ways to build your self-esteem #13 Get out of the habit of making excuses. We all tend to apologize unnecessarily for out actions. We Weren’t feeling well… the baby was sick… it was simply a bad day. You don’t owe anybody more that the explanation of facts. Stick to them. #10 Learn to say NO. We often lose our sense of self-esteem because we give in to unreasonable demands. Negotiate on your terms instead of always giving in to others. Ms. Allison stated as a finial thought in her book. “Finally, as we reach the 1001st way to make your life better, I would recommend you to choose to live a mentally, physically and emotionally healthy life. This doesn’t necessarily mean a religious life, nor does it mean that you must give up your material or career goals. Ambition and righteousness are not mutually exclusive. Living with goodness, honesty, humility and love will bring you inner peace and happiness.”
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Excerpts from Bev's Book: When do you now if you’ve met Mr. Wrong? Experiencing codependency in relationships is very common and should not be seen as totally pathological or problematic. It all depends on how serious and 'obsessive' the codependency is with in the relationships. To say it nicely, co-dependent relationships are BAD!!! If you are in one, GET OUT of it! When one or both partners live only for the other person and cannot exist without them, then intense codependency in relationships is being exhibited. This is where the suffocation process occurs.
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Love By: Bruce Fisher, ED.D You are your own best friend, and worst enemy. As you think, so shall it be. All the events in your life are there because you drew them there; what you choose to do with them is up to you. Argue for your limitations and sure enough – they’re yours. You are beautiful – inside and out!! Give to yourself what you give to others. When you stop needing to be loved so much, and it dawns on you that you are the only person who can fill the void, perhaps true freedom will prevail. It doesn’t matter what other people think about you, it only matters what you think about you. And as you think, so it is!
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Letting Go Author Unknown
Letting go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for
someone else. Letting go is not to cut myself off, it’s the
realization I can’t control another. Letting go is not to enable, but
to allow learning from natural consequences.
Letting go is to admit powerlessness which means the outcome is
not in my hands.
Letting go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to
make the most of myself. Letting go is not to care for, but to care
about.
Letting go is not to fix, but to be supportive. It’s not to
judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
Letting
go is not to be in the middle arranging to outcome, but to allow others
to affect their own destinies.
Letting go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to
face reality. Letting go is not to deny, but to accept.
Letting go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search
out my own shortcomings and correct them.
Letting go is not to adjust everything to my own desires, but to
take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
Letting go is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try
to become what I dream I can be.
Letting go is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the
future. Letting go is to fear less and live more.
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Positive Affirmations - The Dos & Donts
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Words
of Wisdom to “Rescuers”
By: Bruce Fisher, ED.D.
A
rescuer is a person who creates relationships with someone who needs
rescuing.
It feels so good for the rescuer to find someone to rescue, and
it feels so good for the person needing rescuing, that often the two
people end up being in a committed relationship with each other; an
over-responsible person in relationship with an under-responsible
person. I taught about 2,000 people ending a relationship in the
Rebuilding class and the majority of them described their last
relationship as an over-and-under-responsible relationship.
You rescuers can easily believe you are “superior” to those
who need rescuing. You believe you are doing all of these wonderful
things that will get you brownie points in Heaven.
It’s true the things you get done are impressive.
You are doing many kind deeds to and for others.
Many times you provided an environment that allowed the other
person to make tremendous personal growth.
However, it is helpful to realize that your rescuing is often
controlling others, keeping them smaller, weaker, dependent, and unable
to do things for themselves.
Your need to rescue someone means you will have to keep then in a
need of rescuing.
How
did you become a rescuer?
During your formative years, your emotional development became
stunted. You stopped getting all of your needs met. You compensated by
finding another little child in someone else who had also stopped
growing.
You began to give to them the things you were wishing someone
would give to you.
It made you feel better but it set up a dangerous precedent.
You began being so involved in helping another that you were able
to avoid looking at how much you needed to take care of yourself.
You began the development of an adaptive-survivor part in order
to feel better and get more of your needs met. There
are a wide variety of situations that could have encouraged your to
develop a rescuer pattern of behavior.
Sometimes you felt frustrated because you weren’t getting
enough attention or love.
Sometimes you learned you could manipulate your environment be
developing adaptive behaviors.
Sometimes you felt very criticized and became adaptive to feel
better instead of feeling not okay.
Sometimes you suffered from a lack of parenting because your
parents were not around or were especially weak in parenting skills.
Sometimes everyone around you were under-responsible, perhaps
even in an altered state due to drugs of some sort.
You learned to be an over-responsible, rescuer in order to deep
your family functioning. If
you were to make a list of the many adaptive/survivor behaviors you
could have chosen being a rescuer was probably the best choice you could
have made.
It helped you make the most of your situation. It not only helped
you to get more needs met, it often was very helpful to the people
around you.
It worded well in your formative years.
It doesn’t work as well in your adult relationships. Relationships
that are over/under often become stressful and sometimes end.
Rescuers often become emotionally drained.
The last stage of the relationship usually includes anger because
you have given so much and received so little.
You aren’t able to see you contribution to the problem.
You have difficulty taking so even if they tried to give to you,
you would have trouble receiving.
For you, it is easier to give that to receive. The
system of interaction between the two people can become upset.
Here are some examples. The couple have a baby and the rescuer is
too busy with the baby to continue rescuing the partner.
The rescuer finds a stronger identity by doing self-care. (This
always feels selfish to rescuers when they start becoming responsible to
self instead of over-responsible.) The person who is
under-responsible becomes tired of being controlled and either
leaves the relationship.
Any one of these “upsetting-the-system behaviors” can
contribute to the ending of the relationship.
If asked, you can usually identify when the system began to
change.
This can be the beginning of the end of your relationship.
It is possible to change within the relationship without it
ending, but both parties have to have awareness plus good communication
to do this. Leaving
the relationship will not help rescuers to change.
Instead you will probably find another person needing rescuing
and create another over/under relationship.
The challenge is to change the relationship with yourself be
learning to become responsible for self instead of being either over-or
under-responsible. It usually includes learning to take emotionally,
instead of always emotionally giving to another.
It means giving to yourself the things that you didn’t get
enough of in your formative years. Think of the wonderful things that could happen if you transformed your well-developed “giving to others part” into a “giving to yourself part.” You might find the happiness, contentment, and inner peace that you deserve. Good luck on your journey.
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Excerpt from Bev's Book:
For those of you who have had the same boring look for the past 15 years, shame on you. And for my White Sista’s who are still sporting that same high feathered 80’s hair do, give it up. I cannot believe it, I still see women who are completely stuck in the 80’s. The same hair do, makeup, clothes and shoes. Lets not forget the handbags. I sometimes have the feeling of just going over and handing them my business card. I must admit I did a few times, as I laughed and played it off. The nerve of them to come out in public looking like that. Shopping
Mall 101 Every Diva must learn her way around the shopping mall in detail. She should know where every store is located and what particular designer labels they carry, to include make-up, shoes, hair salon, and party gifts. How else will she accomplish any emergency type shopping in less than an hour. Can you image a last minute invite or decision to go to the ball of all balls, and you have only a few hours to get ready. Experienced Divas would already have a few new outfits ready to wear with all the necessary accessories to match, in their closets. But you can never tell when an emergency can pop up. I suggest that you take several trips to the mall and do some window shopping. Take a friend along if you wish, but do not buy anything until you have completed all the exercises in this chapter. For
the rest of the data... you must order the book.........
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| According to BellaOnline....
The Seven Secret Steps To Look And Feel Fabulous
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According to www.indiaparenting.org... The first thing we
notice about any person we meet, are the looks. No
matter how much we preach and believe that it's what's
inside that matters, we still judge people on the basis
of what we see on the outside. And others do the same
for us. So naturally everybody likes to look good. The
better looking you are, the better you feel about
yourself, and the better you feel about yourself, the
more others like you. Sometimes it feels like a catch-22
situation. Not fair, but that's the way it is. What is it that constitutes good looks? Universally, the norms of beauty have been the same through the ages - symmetrical features, well groomed hair, large, wide set eyes. and, a clear complexion. In fact, achieving clear, acne-free complexion is the first step towards looking good. You can still be considered gorgeous if you have untidy hair or tiny eyes, but not if you have a bad complexion. So get started on the route to achieving flawless skin. It takes work, but the results are well worth it. Skin care is not just
cleansing, toning and moisiurising. There's a lot more
to it, and the more you look after your skin, the better
the results. And what better way to get started on the
route to a peaches and cream complexion than with a
facial? |
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“Me,
I Choose” by:
Bev Knox 3/00 I
appreciate you, for being you And
like you, for just being you So
appreciate me, for being me And
like me, for just being me Stop
trying to tell me how to live my life Or
what I should do to make it better Better
to suit you, you, and you… I
appreciate your need to feel like you are protecting me Or
even trying to guide me into your “perfect reality or perception” I
am ME! My own creation… Untamable,
uncontrollable, my spirit is free The
teachings of my elders, I take note… non forgotten… I
am me – I choose to be… My
own form of self identity will be shaped and formed by me My
loud and awkward laugh, its part of my craft Just
like the witches brew, unlike my mama’s stew The
waving of the hands, and my out spoken form of communication My
sensitive and caring nature, got much love for all creatures baby Even
you, you and you… My
obsession with shoes and pocketbooks, Donna
Karen, Polo and Calvin Klein Yow!
it’s just part of my look….my make-up, my sense of style baby… My
emotional neediness to love and be loved… Wanna
be my man…just try and handle this, brother if you can Yea
that’s right!
scared of me… do I put fear in you heart baby… do
you wonder if at all you can handle a sista like me… Beautiful,
intelligent, thoughtful, charming, headstrong Spell
it out baby… B I T C H Yea,
that’s right I
love being me So,
appreciate me, for just being me… Or else get the @#!*% out of my life... |